Change Your Self Image and Grow

Self-image, as you might have guessed, is the opinion you have about the kind of person you are. It’s what you believe you can and cannot achieve, you do and do not like, you will and will not tolerate etc. And by the time we’re in our twenties, we talk about ourselves as though we’re just reporting the weather – not realising that the way we do and don’t identify ourselves has a HUGE impact on our actions and, in many cases, is the very thing that stops us from achieving our goals (or causes us to self-sabotage once we do).

So why is self-image so powerful? What does your opinion of yourself have to do with your goals?

Well, for one, your brain is always searching for information to validate your beliefs. So if you believe you’re a certain kind of person, your brain will filter the information around you in a way that proves that to be true. And therefore, your belief will be strengthened and you will continue to act in accordance with that belief.

But not only that. As humans, we LOVE being right. And if there’s one thing we always want to be right about, it’s ourselves. Nothing is more uncomfortable than realising we don’t know who we really are, so we do everything in our power to make sure that our reality is consistent with our beliefs about ourselves. We look for evidence to confirm our self-image is right, dismiss evidence that goes against our self-image and self-sabotage so we can hold onto our self-image. Even if we REALLY want to achieve our goal. And it’s actually kinda crazy!

If you’ve been struggling to achive a goal, it’s likely that your self-image is in direct conflict with you achieving your goal. And until you start to see yourself as the kind of person that can achieve your goal, you will create a struggle so you can be right about yourself. Even if you’re determined to achieve it! I’ll give some examples so you know what I mean:

If you’ve been trying to eat healthy but you believe you’re the kind of person that has to eat everything in sight, you’ll eat everything in sight so you can be right about yourself. If you’ve been trying to wake up early but you believe you’re the kind of person that always snoozes the alarm 10 times, you’ll snooze the alarm 10 times just so you can be right about yourself. If you’re trying to be on time but you believe you’ll the kind of person that’s always late, you’ll be late just so you can be right about yourself. And on the rare occasions that you do surprise yourself, you’ll dismiss them as being out of character just so you can hold onto your self-image.

This all happens subconsciously, of course. And consciously, you really will be trying your hardest to stick to your new habit or achieve your goal. But unless your self-image is in alignment with you achieving your goal, you won’t achieve it. Or you’ll self-sabotage when you do. So it really is SO important that you take a look at your self-image and begin to do the work to have it match your goals.

Stop Giving Others Power in Your Life

We give the people around us far too much power over us. Although many of us may say that “we don’t care what other people think”, we still do. It’s hard not to give thought as to what other people may think of us. People are all around us, and even the act of trying not to care about what other people think of you… is allowing you to care about what they think of you. It’s a vicious cycle…

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How to Deal with Discouraging Comments

I’m sure you have received a comment like this before: “Oh, THAT’S what you are doing? That’s not a good idea”, or “I really don’t know about that, you should DEFINITELY try something else…

Perhaps this so called ‘advice’ was good intended. Perhaps their words came from a loving place. Perhaps they are just trying to keep you from getting hurt.

…But regardless of what they meant, what they said was hurtful to you. You shared an idea with them of what you wanted, and they don’t believe you can or should do it.

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What’s the Difference Between a Job and a Career?

Think back to when you were in college. You were young, and most likely broke at the time. You had dreams for your life, and ideas for what you wanted your world to be filled with for your future. Although you had all these elaborate dreams –you needed to make money somehow. Although it may not have been your dream job, you probably took up a job here and there doing almost anything.

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Importance of Self Care

So much of our energy is spent caring for the ones who surround us. Our kids, husbands, boyfriends, family members, friends… all of them rely on us for so many things. For those of us who manage our own careers during the day and then come home at night to help our loved ones, we rarely have any time for ourselves. So, for those of us who are overwhelmingly busy, what does self-care look like?

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Blame and Guilt, don’t accept it…EVER!

It is upsetting when someone we love or knows us well sees us in a way that doesn’t feel true or positive, but just because another person (no matter how much we love them) relates to us as bad or guilty does not mean that we are those things. We can sorrow in this person not knowing us, or not seeing us correctly—without having to become the object of their blame.

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